


Feel Something

by bluesxrgent



Series: tumblr prompts [5]
Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healthy Relationships, M/M, healthy communication can i get a hell yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-16 01:31:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19307911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluesxrgent/pseuds/bluesxrgent
Summary: tumblr prompt: I LOVED your last prompt fill! Are you taking requests? If so, could you please do one where eliott comes home stressed, and he demands cuddles from lucas? And lucas wraps him up in blankets, cuddles and kisses him, and holds him until he feels better? Lucas/axel looks like he would give the best cuddles, he looks so soft and warm and I just want to hug him.





	Feel Something

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was kinda inspired by bea miller's song 'feel something' because i listened to it while writing this and was like !! eliott !!

The door swung open just as Lucas was lifting a glass of water to his mouth. A grin broke across his face immediately, knowing that the only person who would walk in like he lived there was the other boy who  _ did _ live there. He stood up from the couch to greet Eliott, smile fading when he took in Eliott’s expression. 

“Hey… you alright?” he asked, setting his glass down on one of the end tables. Eliott’s glazed stare met his as he shook his head.

Lucas took another step closer, holding out his arms to fold Eliott into a hug. “What’s up?” he whispered into Eliott’s chest. 

Eliott took a shaky breath. “I can’t do it anymore.”

Lucas’ heart sped up a bit, and he was sure Eliott could feel it, pressed together as they were. He chose his words carefully, not wanting to cause Eliott to shut down. “What… don’t you want to do?”

“Everything. School, mostly.” Eliott’s head dropped onto his shoulder. His arms were still limp at his sides, not coming up to hold Lucas the same way Lucas was holding him. Lucas wished he could say that he had been anticipating this, but he hadn’t. He didn’t know if this was maybe the start of an episode, or just a bad day, but he didn’t want to ask, lest Eliott block him out. 

Lucas pulled his head back, loosening his grip slightly. “What happened with school?”

“Nothing.” 

“Eliott—” Lucas pleaded, but Eliott just shook his head, still resting on Lucas’ shoulder. 

“No, that’s what’s wrong. Nothing is happening, I can't do anything right,” Eliott mumbled. 

Lucas traced his spine, up and down. “I’m sure that’s not true. I’ve seen your projects, they’re spectacular.”

Eliott lifted his head up and looked into Lucas’ eyes. He didn’t look great. Well, he  _ did _ look great, because he was Eliott, but even so, he didn’t quite look like himself. The bags around his eyes were darker than ever, darker than Lucas’ even, and the light that usually spread from his head to his toes seemed dimmed. Not quite extinguished, but dimmed quite a bit. Nevertheless, he did force out a weak smile. “Of course  _ you  _ would say that,” he teased.

Lucas put his hands up in surrender. “I know jack shit about art, so if I’m complimenting you, that means you must have done something right.”

Eliott started walking away, but he brushed Lucas’ hand as he passed, an indication that he wanted Lucas to follow. Lucas did so, following Eliott into their living room and back onto the couch. As Lucas sat down, Eliott laid his head in his lap, causing Lucas to smile softly to himself. He ran his fingers through Eliott’s hair, loving the way the silky strands slipped through his fingers seamlessly.

“I’m not doing anything wrong, not really,” Eliott said at last. Lucas hummed in response, letting Eliott continue on his own time. “I’m doing my assignments, and I’m doing them all technically well, but I don’t see myself in them. It’s like I’m too empty to feel anything worth capturing.”

“Are you… do you think…” Lucas didn’t know how to ask, but Eliott understood what he was trying to say. 

“Am I having an episode?” Lucas nodded, and Eliott just shrugged, and settled deeper into Lucas’ lap. “I don’t know. I don’t think so… but I’m not always good at knowing what the fuck is happening inside of my head either. Sometimes I just feel like I do now and it never leads to anything more.”

“And what do you feel now?” Lucas asked. 

Eliott shut his eyes, words coming out in a hoarse whisper. “Nothing.”

Lucas bit his lip, trying not to let his fingers still in Eliott’s hair for even a moment. If Eliott thought he was upsetting Lucas, he would stop talking and withdraw into himself, which would only make things worse. “Nothing at all?” he prompted eventually. 

Eliott turned his head and buried it in Lucas’ stomach. “I don’t know. I know that I love you, that never changes. I know that I’m not sad. But I also know that I’m not happy, and I can’t help it.”

Lucas was silent, not knowing if Eliott wanted to speak more or not. Eventually, he did. “I don’t feel like a person, or how a person should feel, I guess. I know I should be having certain reactions to things, but I just can’t. I want to feel something real.”

“Can I help it?” Lucas asked. 

“I don’t know,” Eliott admitted, “You being here, listening, does help in a way. It doesn’t totally help me feel real emotions the way I’m used to, but it helps me feel like I’m not alone.”

Lucas cupped a hand under Eliott’s chin. “I told you that you weren’t alone anymore and I meant it. I’ll be with you as long as you’ll have me.”

Eliott grinned somewhat sadly and Lucas traced the smile with his fingertips. “No matter what I’m feeling, or not feeling, you make my heart happy,” Eliott said softly. Under any other circumstances, Lucas probably would have joked about how cheesy that sounded, but hearing it at that moment, Lucas felt a dam break through inside him. Maybe Eliott had accidentally transferred all his emotion to Lucas, causing him to feel everything that much more. 

“You make my heart happy too,” Lucas said, and it was the truth. Even when Eliott was feeling down, or didn’t know what he was feeling, he loved him more than anything. There was no circumstance that could possibly make him feel differently. 

Eliott pulled his head back and looked up at Lucas. “What if this is an episode?”

“Then we’ll get through it, minute by minute,” Lucas answered simply. Eliott had asked him that question many times, and he always answered the same way. Sometimes there was an episode, sometimes there wasn’t, but Lucas stayed true to his word and they got through it. The bad moments made the good ones that much better, so even though they were tough, they were worth it. 

“And this minute?” Lucas added, raising an eyebrow. If Eliott wanted to go to bed alone, Lucas would sleep on the couch. If Eliott wanted to stay there with Lucas petting his hair all night, he would do that too. 

Eliott considered a moment. “Will you cuddle with me?”

“Of course,” he answered with a grin, “Bed or couch?”

“Here’s fine.”

Lucas nodded and moved to stand up, Eliott’s hand grasping his as he did so. “Where are you going?” Eliott asked. 

“We can’t properly cuddle without a million and a half blankets,” he explained, “Well, maybe we can, but where’s the fun in that?” 

Eliott didn’t say anything, but let him go to find blankets. Lucas came back with nearly all the blankets they owned, save the comforter on their bed. Eliott’s eyes lit up in amusement, and Lucas nearly sighed in relief at the sight of Eliott’s eyes bright and full of life. “Scoot over, I’ll be the big spoon,” he requested, Eliott obliging him immediately. 

Lucas took the blankets as he laid down, adjusting the two of them slightly as he did so that they could wrap themselves up like one giant cocoon. It probably looked ridiculous, but it was ridiculously comfortable. He wrapped his arms around Eliott’s body, both of their hands folding together around Eliott’s chest. Their legs tangled naturally, a position their bodies were used to, and Lucas buried his face in the crook of Eliott’s neck. 

If someone were to walk in all they would see was a head and a half poking out of a mountain of blankets. The thought almost made Lucas giggle to himself, and he would be sure to bring it up once Eliott was in the mood for joking and laughing. 

Eliott’s breathing evened out beneath his hands after a while, easing into a deep sleep. Lucas stayed awake a bit longer, admiring Eliott’s strength, thinking about how he had to deal with so much inside his own mind but always came out the other end. He admired Eliott more than he could ever express, but he’d damn well spend the rest of his life trying. 

For now, though, he could hold Eliott tight and never let him go.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


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